The Personal is Universal!
The personal is universal.
This is a concept I have always struggled with. I know there is so much value in sharing personal stories. Especially those of setbacks, failures, and struggle.
Stories are humanities way of connecting thoughts, emotions, values, and lessons over time and distance.
Unless it is a story of success or one where I can control the narrative in a way I am comfortable, I rarely share stories of my failures. It hurts too much, it is embarrassing,and it taints the narritive I want the world to know.
It is also insincere and inauthentic. Everyone fails, everyone experiences loss, everyone knows sickening fear, everyone suffers self doubt, everyone is a mixed bag of emotions ranging from total confidence to total self doubt. Welcome to the human experience!
This is exactly why personal stories how such power. Everyone can relate to aspects of your story. Whether it is the sleepless nights waiting for someone you are interested in to call, crying for days due to guilt, or the unconditional love a parent feels for their child sorties place the listener or reader in the storyteller’s shoes.
All humans are universally connected. We may not speak the same language, we may not have the same culture, we may not have the same upbringing; fortunately, we are all human and speak the universal language of stories. Tap into your humanity. Tell your story, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Connect with others. You will find the personal is universal!
#RyonEsquire #NoLImits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #Consultant #Leader #ThoughtLeader #Adviser #BeLegendary
Leadership is the Greatest Catalyst for Growth!
Leadership is one of the most difficult things I have ever done.
It has forced me to continually step outside my comfort zone. I have confronted demons, given and received hard feedback, found limitations, challenged those limitations, succeeded and failed, and constantly felt like I was running on quicksand barely avoiding being sucked under.
Leadership is the greatest catalyst for growth I have ever experienced.
I believe great leaders become great people along their journey of leadership. In order to expect great things from others, you must first expect great things from yourself. This is why leadership comes from the inside out.
Great leaders are always learning and improving in order to become the best version of themselves in order to best serve those for whom they are responsible. This is the true reason why leaders constantly push themselves. It is in the service of the greater good!
While it is true you can improve for selfish reasons, ie health reasons or a desire for something different, you will never improve more and faster than for selflesss reasons, ie for your teammates or someone you love. It is in service to others that we access our higher selves.
If you are determined to grow and evolve into the best version of yourself and reach your potential step into a leadership roll. It will force you to become more!
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #Mindset #Leader #Leadership #Teamwork #Culture #BeLegendary
Learn Your Boundaries and to Say No!
“Know your limits.” That was the title of todays’ Daily Stoic email.
The email focused on not over working, leaving space for family and friends, and time away from work allowing for creativity. Everything I completely agree with and teach to my clients.
However, for many of us knowing our limits is only part of the battle. Having the discipline to create boundaries and say no is the more difficult aspect.
American society teaches that you can have it all, great job, amazing family, interesting friends if you just work a little harder. That is the great American myth! Do more and everything will work out.
The problem is, if you work more then you are taking away from family or friends. If you do more with family you are taking away from work or friends. It is a constant give and take.
This is why setting boundaries and saying no are so important. Boundaries allow you to set priorities, allocate time, and create deadlines. Saying no prevents you from over committing to unproductive events or boring social obligations.
Creation is always an active process. If you want to create a more balanced life you must take control and actively design your way of being.
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #Mindset #Habits #Create #LIfe #BeLegendary
Captain of My Soul!
Captain of My Soul. (Oscar Wilde)
We live in a time and society of ease. Food can be delivered rather than killed or grown. Entertainment is a quick button push away. You do not even have to leave your house to survive.
We all know people who cheat, or at the very least, do not do what is right and still get ahead. It is so tempting to take the easy way. Why not? Everyone else is.
The answer is, you can choose that path. Many do, and they live a life without honor, character, or integrity.
Having character might be the single most determitive factor for success. Character is making a promise to do something and following through with that promise whether it is a promise to yourself or someone else.
Mastering oneself, taking control of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors creates a person of character, integrity, and success. It creates a person others want to work with, others can trust, and others can rely upon. It creates someone you can be proud of and someone others can depend.
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #Leadership #Mindset #OscarWilde #BeLegendary
It Works If You Work It!
It works if you work it.
We are in a fast paced, quick fix, short cut society. Everyone is looking for that trick that will give them the edge and make things easy.
As amazing as that illusion sounds, it is just that, an illusion! True success, true growth, true change is a result of hard work and fundamentals.
Specifically, it is working those funimentals day in and day out. Putting your limited resources of time, energy, and focus into those unsexy few elements that are fundamental to the result you are trying to achieve.
It is not sexy, it is not flashy, it is tried, true, and proven. The individuals and businesses that have long term success are in the practice of working those fundamentals everyday, and that is the real secret to their success!
Need clarity on your fundamentals/ Need a process to work those fundamentals? Let’s talk. An outside perspective can be illuminating and game changing!
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #Leadership #ThoughtLeader #TeamWork #Fundamentals #BeLegendary
There Are Dreams That Cannot Be!
There are dreams that cannot be.
This was the title of today’s Daily Stoic email. The Stoics practice a philosophy they called the Art of acquiescence, which is turning an unfortunate or traumatic event into something that in retrospect we would not trade.
This is a tough one for me! As many of you know, my dream was to be an NFL quarterback. Could I have done it? Who knows, my dream was taken from me when I lost my vision at 11 from a random illness.
I struggled with that loss for years! Sometimes I am not sure I have healed from that wound.
It was not only the loss of my identity, but competitive sports was my way of challenging myself as a young man. It was my way of figuring out am I a leader, am I good enough, what kind of teammate am I, what do I need to improve upon?
All these questions an many more could not be answered. It left me lost and angry. It was not until I embraced the fact I still see myself as an NFL quarterback that I started to heal.
I now use the intangible skills of leadership, motivation, uniting people behind a vision, and staying cool amidst the chaos. Through coaching high performers I am using the skills, talents, and mindsets I would have used as a quarterback leading a team to wins to help lead my clients to their wins.
Losing my vision was a pivotal event in my life. It took as much from me as it gave. Would I change it for the chance of living my dream? Yeah. However, that is wishful thinking and only serves to keep me from fully embracing and accepting my reality.
Without accepting our current realities, we will never heal, never find the hidden gifts, never overcome the anger, never overcome the challenges, never learn the lessons.
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #Mindset #HiddenGifts #Overcoming #NeverGiveUp #BeLegendary
Continual Learning Makes You a Mental Powerhouse!
Hacking cognitive decline. That was the title of my Steven Kotler email.
The quick point of the email was start learning early and make it a life long pursuit to decrease your risk of cognitive decline. Basically, the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain where learning and wisedom reside, is one of the more recent areas of the brain to develop and is also one of the first to decline with age or disease.
Why should you care? The obvious answer is to prevent cognitive decline as you age. It is kind of a numbers game. The more neuro connections you make the more you have to lose. Also, constantly learning equals constant neuro connection formation.
Additionally, continually learning not only increases your knowledge, it keeps your brain’s processing speed high, gives you more information to pull from when making connections, and overtime will make you a mental powerhouse when compared to your peers. It is your secret weapon to being aged out of your career.
It is shocking to me how many people stop learning after formal education. School does two things. It gives you foundational knowledge and it teaches you how to learn.
Frankly, learning how to learn is the more important. That coupled with curiosity leads to life long learning.
Luckly, the learning can be anything! A new sport, a new language, a craft, a philosophy, a new piece of technology. What you learn is not as important as simply learning something new and forming new neuro connections.
If you want to remain interesting, dynamic, engaged, and sharp make learning part of your identity. It will literally protect your brain and protect your career!
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #Learning #Cognitive #Decline #Leader #ThoughtLeader #Healthy AGing #BeLegendary
Why Me, or Try Me?
I saw an IG post from Dave Meltzer this morning. It said “are you a why me or try me person?”
There is a reason quotes do so well on IG. The right one at the right time truly has power!
The great ones perfectly sum up in a few words a complex array of thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and emotions. To me, this quote is one of those!
When things do not go your way do you ask yourself “why me,” or is your responce more like bring it world! “Try me!”
Why me people have an external locus of control meaning they blame outside circumstances for their failures. The problem with this mindset is you cannot control, improve, or often predict outside circumstances. This view of the world leaves feeling helpless.
Try me people, on the other hand, have an internal locus of control meaning they view failure as something within their control to work on, fix, and improve. This world view leaves them feeling in control and powerful. They know given enough time they can figure out and overcome.
If you are already a try me kind of person, great! Continue kicking ass! If you are a why me person, hope is not lost. You can change. Like anything it first starts with awareness and then the choice to change. After that, it is learning to monitor your thoughts and beliefs, changing the ones that are no longer serving you, and catching yourself when you are thinking those negative thoughts and replacing them with your desired ones.
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #DaveMeltzer #WhyMe #TryMe #Mindset #Change #BeLegendary
The World Will Ask You Who You Are!
I read a thought by Carl Jung, the father of Jungian psychology, “the world will ask you who you are, and if you don’t know, the world will tell you.”
Powerful right? Basically, according to Jung, you are either creating your reality and life or you are allowing outside forces to create your reality and life for you.
Here is the power of knowing who you are. Your identity, the filter by which you see yourself, allows you to make decisions consistent with who you are and the type of life you want to live. Consistent decisions made in the same direction overtime allow you to create the future you desire. By knowing yourself you can choose the path you want to travel.
Not knowing yourself does not allow for the consistent directional decision making which leads to your desired future. If you do not have a destination in life how can you possibablly make consistent decisions to lead you toward a desired future? It is impossible! Life will continually place diverging paths in front of you. Those who know who they are can choose the path which leads them to their goal. Those who do not know, will make inconsistent decisions leading nowhere.
This is why doing the inner work is so important to success! Knowing who you are and want to be allows you to become the master of your own destiny.
Do you find yourself directionless? Could you use some clarity? Do you even know who you are what you want from life? If you answered no to any of these questions reach out. I have a process to help!
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #Mindset #Identity #CarlJung #BeLegendary
You Have to Choose to be Great!
I just read an IG post quoting John Harbaugh, the Super Bowl winning head coach of the Baltimore Ravens, saying to be great you have to choose to be great!
I really needed to read this. Secretly, this is exactly how I have always felt in regards to being great.
It is a choice! You are choosing to put in the work day in and day out. You are focusing your attention on those things that will move the needle toward achieving that goal. You will stop at nothing to learn more, push yourself in order to grow more, and never lose sight of your ultimate goal.
Choosing to be great is not easy. It requires sacrifice, discipline, and relentless pursuit of your potential.
Although the journey is not easy, the silver lining is that it is available to everyone! It does not require large sums of money, it does not require superior genetics, it only requires one thing, choice!
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #PositiveLeadership #ThoughtLeader #Leader #Choice #Great #Greatness #JohnHarbaugh #BaltimoreRavens #BeLegendary
Pleasure Comes From Struggle!
Pleasure, we all want it. We literally have neuro chemicals in our brain specifically designed to create the experience of pleasure. We are literally wired to feel good!
Interestingly, we experience the strongest sensations of pleasure when we have to work to receive our reward. Conversely, if we trigger those pleasure neuro chemicals frequently and with ease, ie little struggle, those same feel good chemicals stop feeling so good.
Why should you care? Because if you are not experiencing those feel good chemicals resulting from your efforts then you will stop the pursuit. Think about it, why would anyone struggle through the pain of learning and growing without a feel good reward at the end? The answer is, you would not!
This is important for any leader. It is literally the formula to motivate people to achieve more, feel fulfilled, and happy.
Life and business are full of struggle. Take advantage of them. Build them into your process for growth and development. Allow your people to think on their own, try new things, struggle, and overcome.
This will literally create individuals who are resilient, embrace the suck, growth minded problem solvers, and are happy and fulfilled.
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #Mindset #AndrewHuberman #HubermanLab #Growth #Flow #Struggle #EmbraceTheSuck #BeLegendary
Fame!
I was reading Scott Galloway’s email No Mercy No Malice. The topic was fame.
Fame is such an interesting topic for me. When I was younger I wanted but did not crave fame. Truly what I think I wanted was the money, status, and glamour I associated with fame.
I am not going to act like as I have matured I no longer want fame. That would be a lie. I still think I would enjoy some level of fame. Today, it is more about what I could do with that fame rather than the superficial trappings of fame I desired as a younger man.
On the other hand, fame scares the hell out of me! People always telling you how amazing you are, that you can do no wrong, letting you get away with inappropriate behavior. It would be so easy to lose yourself!
Fame is a slippery slope that gives the illusion of love and acceptance. It is like putting makeup on a pig. It simply puts a pretty face on the beast beneath. Without doing the hard inner work you will never be more than a famous face.
If I ever achieve some level of fame, I am glad I will have done so later in life. I have done the hard inner work, I know who I am and want to be as a man, and I have amazing friends and family to keep me grounded and humble.
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #Mindset #Fame #Famous #ScottGalloway #NoMercyNoMalice #BeLegendary
Lasting Trauma is in How We Process the Event; Not the Event Itself!
The event itself is not traumatic. It is the way we process the event that causes trauma.Dr. Micheal Gervais
I heard this yesterday while listening to his podcast, Finding Mastery. It was a total paradigm shift for me!
Gervais is not saying the actual event itself does not cause trauma. Of course it does. However, the real and lasting trauma is caused by how we process that event and it’s aftermath.
This explains so much of what I experienced after losing my vision at 11. Yes, there was trauma around the event. I almost died. I suffered physical setbacks. I lost my vision. Who would not suffer trauma from a near death experience?
Now that I am older and have the knowledge and experience from my Masters in counseling psychology plus years of coaching high performers, I now see how I processed that event and it’s aftermath caused lasting trauma.
My goal in life was to be an NFL quarterback. That was my identity. That was how I saw myself and the world. Once I lost my vision I lost my identity. I lost myself and how I saw the world.
Up until then I bought into the illusion of control we all feel. I knew that I could work hard, follow the process, believe in myself and things would work out. Losing my vision destroyed those beliefs along with my vision for the future. Who was I?
Not being able to chase my dream and no longer knowing who I was caused a lot of anger, fear, shame, and guilt. If I could not be an intellectual athletic stud who was I as a man? Could I ever become the man I wanted to be? Why would anyone choose me over a sighted person?
At 11, so much of my identity was wrapped up in the physical side of being a quarterback and leadership. My world view was very limited. Of course, as an adult, I now understand there is so much more to being a man, a leader, a partner. In most aspects, the non)physical traits are vastly more important!
In many ways, I use the soft skills of quarterbacking everyday. Leading, uniting, encouraging, identifying, and executing. Once I acknowledged and embraced that I was able to step into my identity as an NFL quarterback. It was like uniting two long separated halves.
Now that I understand it was the processing of my vision loss and the resulting loss of my dream I now see how much work I still have left. This change in perspective has revealed scars, still open wounds, and my long hated passenger shame and guilt.
Despite this new revelation revealing long hidden trauma I am hopeful. I now see how my processing of losing my vision at 11 created shadow companions that are preventing me from becoming the man I want to become. Now that the light of knowledge has revealed them, I can start the process of healing. It is empowering! I am in control and can create the man, the life, and the future I desire.
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #PositiveLeadership #ThoughtLeader #Trauma #DrMichaelGervais #BeLegendary
You Have to Choose to be Changed!
You have to choose to be changed.
Everyone has heard the saying, “you can lead a horse to water but you cannot force him to drink.” It is the same with change. You cannot force anyone to change who does not choose to change.
We all know this and have experienced it first hand.
We have also all made the choice to change something and have experienced what that process looks and feels like.
Choosing to be changed is both an active and passive process. You actively choose to change and follow through with the intentional behaviors to make that change. Ie learning new skills, making a mindset shift, changing your environment. Change also has a passive component. You are a reflection of the people you spend time with, the places you hang out, the information you consume. All of these subtlely influence who you are, how you think, the ways in which you behave. All of which are a choice you are making to be changed.
The flip side is we all know those people who refuse to learn something new or evolve their thoughts and behaviors to responsively fit their current circumstances. IE parents who never go up and still live their life as if they were not responsible for the growth and development of an impressionable life. A choice was made to not fully embrace their new role, ignore their current reality, and forgo all the amazing gifts that come from choosing to be changed.
I know from personal experience the power of choosing to be changed. There have been areas of my life that I made the choice to change and just as chose to allow the information I was consuming to change me. It is a process. Choose to change, start making those changes, adopt the new behaviors or thoughts, and eventually change.
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NfLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #PositiveLeadership #ThoughtLeader #Change #Choice #BeLegendary
Always Do What You are Afraid to Do!
Always do what you are afraid to do. Emerson’s Essays
There is that very stereotypical interview question, “what advice would you give to your younger self?” I have never had an answer to that question that I loved. I always just made something up. That is until today!
“Always do what you are afraid to do.” God I wish I had this ingrained in me as a kid!
All growth is a leap in the dark. That leap that fear of the unknown scares most people! This is why change is so hard, it is the fear of an uncertain outcome that prevents many from changing.
All rewards live on the other side of facing those fears! Having courage. Bravely stepping into the unknown and facing down whatever scares or intimidates you is what allows you to change and grow.
This is what is truly meant when people say “become comfortable with being uncomfortable.” They are really saying become comfortable with facing your fears, overcoming them, and growing from that experience.
“Always do what you are afraid to do,” is going on my list to the universe that I read daily. I want to be reminded daily to always choose to do what I am afraid to do. I want it to be a conscious choice and part of my decision making framework. I want to live a rich and full life brimming with adventure, excitement, experiences, and dynamic friends.
So come with me! Leap into the unknown. A world of possibilities awaits us on the other side!
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #PositiveLeadership #Leader #ThoughtLeader #EmersonsEssays #BeLegendary
Learning How to Think is the Skill of the Future!
Learning how to think is the most important skill today and in the future to insure success!
Everyone knows how to think, right? You are born doing it and you spend every waking hour listening to your chattering mind. Your nights are full of dreams and vivid images. Of course you know how to think!
Those are just thoughts. Ideas you are having in the moment. Thinking, is a much more intentional and deeper process. It involves intentionally taking control over the direction and complexion of your thoughts.
It is a conscious process that involves a process of questioning, examining, and reflecting. It leads to deeper meaning, profound understanding, and elegant solutions.
Learning how to think demarcates wise from intelligent. The question is, how do you start “Thinking?”
It starts with being curious. Listen to your thoughts. Question why you have them, where they are coming from, are they really truly how you believe or are they a product of your raising? Once you start questioning you will notice each answer leads to more questions. This is the process of learning how to Think! It is being curious, asking questions, examining answers, and asking more questions.
It may sound maddening and circular. You will have to become comfortable with not having all the answers. It will deepen your understanding of everything you have examined and will make you a more thoughtful profound insightful person! It will grow you from someone who knows a lot of information into a wise master who knows how to apply and use that information!
#RyonEsquire #NoLImits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #PositiveLeadership #ThoughtLeader #Leader #Thinking #Wise #Questioning #Thoughtful #LearningHowToThink #BeLegendary
Great Thinkers Read and Reread!
When I was a younger man I would just read things once. After all, I learned everything possible in one reading, right?
Today, for the most part, I still only read things once. Most information is not worthy of repeated exposure.
However, when it comes to areas of life I want to improve or areas of information that will bring value to my clients I read and reread often. Some almost daily.
This process of repeatedly exposing yourself to the thoughts, values, and ideas of great thinkers until it is subconscously part of you is called interjection. According to science, overtime the nervous system will start asking “what would … think or do?”
This is why repeatedly exposing yourself to the master thinkers in yoru chosen area is so important. It literally changes your thinking, processing, and the way you see the world.
Humans are ever changing and adaptable. This is what allows us to thrive in so many different environments and create so many vastly different technologies. Humans can also be intentional and proactive regarding change.
If there is a great thinker who you admire, consume their information daily. Read and reread their works. Reflect and ask questions. Overtime you will literally start to perceive and think in a similar way.
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #PositiveLeadership #ThoughtLeader #Culture #Mindset #Interjection #BeLegendary
Want the best from your people? Be a humble leader!
I just read a study in the Harvard Business Review discussing humble leadership.
Humble leadership is another term for servant leader. It is the leader who supports and encourages the growth and development of the people he or she leads.
It is the most effective leadership style because it removes fear and allows people to grow and thrive. It gets the best out of people because it encourages them to do the things required to become their best!
Think of it this way, when a child is learning to walk, mom encourages, praises, and comforts when things do not go well. This humble leader gives her kid courage, faith, and support allowing them to take that first unstable step eventually leading to running around everywhere!
Contrast this with a mom who is fearful of her child falling and getting hurt. While she may encourage she does so with her hand on the kid preventing any learning from occurring from a misstep. The child is fearful because the mom is fearful and therefore learns trying new things is full of fear and anxiety.
Do you know which type of leader you are? Are you supporting, encouraging, and allowing your people to become their best, or are you constantly looking over their shoulder, filling them with fear and anxiety, and preventing them from thriving?
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #PositiveLeader #Encouragement #Mindset #Huble #HumbleLeader #ServantLeader #BeLegendary
Trust is Everything!
Over the past couple weeks there has absolutely been an unintended theme in the information I have consumed, trust!
One was train then trust and the other was a formula for visualization, see it, feel it, trust it.
The first is working with someone else helping them achieve their goals. Once the training period is over and it is time to perform you must trust that they will perform according to their training. The other is when working with yourself. When visualizing, you must see yourself performing successfully, feel the emotions of a successful performance, and when it comes time to perform trust in yourself and your preparation.
It is crazy how much trust improves performance. It boosts confidence allowing you to get in the flow, overcome challenges, and not give up when things look bad.
Trust is one of those invisible forces that multiply both individual and team performance. It is the most powerful gift a leader can give!
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #Trust #Leadership #positiveLeadership #Confidence #TEam #HighPerformance #Visualization #Mindset #BeLegendary
Beware the Information You Consume!
While scrolling through LinkedIn I came across a post from Brian Morgan the owner of Think Deeply Write Clearly a company focusing on helping businesses express themselves in a thoughtful clear concise manner.
The point of his post was most writing does not contain enough information for us to make a quality decision. In my personal opinion, most writing today is to create a reaction. It is not to inform, empower, or educate. It is to go viral.
The question then becomes, where are you getting your information? Are you consuming information that is well researched, well vetted, factual, and thoughtful? Are you aware how much the type of information you consume effects your thoughts, your emotions, and how you view the world?
Unfortunately, there is so much information out there that it is impossible to test the validity and veracity of everything. This is why people find their trusted source. Having a trusted source allows us to not have to worry about the validity of the information being presented. We assume it has been researched and is being presented in a honest factual mannor.
This is why carefully vetting your trusted source is vitally important! Once you trust a source your brain defaults to assuming everything by that source is true. That information becomes the filter by which evaluate data. It literally determines the way you see and feel about the world you live!
#RyonEsquire #NoLimits #NFLAlumni #BusinessConsultant #PeakPerformance #Bias #BeLegendary